Got this on FB and thought it was hilarious.

“Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks …Troubled User”
——-
REPLY:
“Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. 
WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.
(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)”




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[ISN] NIST Security Guidance Revision: Prepare Now

http://www.informationweek.com/government/cybersecurity/nist-security-guidance-revision-prepare-now/a/d-id/1269663 By Vincent Berk Commentary InformationWeek.com 6/16/2014 The National Institute of Science and Technology’s Special Publication 800-53 aims to raise the bar and set a standard of security for federal government information processing systems. As NIST works on Revision 5 of the document, which is expected to come out in April 2015, it will need to reverse the sweeping generalizations made in Revision 4 regarding the nature of the threat against data. Network defense is not a spectator sport


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[ISN] U.S. Charges Suspected Activist Hacker

http://online.wsj.com/articles/u-s-charges-suspected-activist-hacker-1402950397 By Andrew Grossman The Wall Street Journal June 16, 2014 Federal prosecutors announced a criminal charge against a 20-year-old Tennessee man allegedly associated with a group of activist hackers that targeted companies and universities, including Bell Canada and the University of Virginia. Timothy French allegedly conspired with a computer hacking group called NullCrew to breach servers at Bell Canada, taking 12,000 customer usernames and passwords and posting them online. Mr. French was also allegedly involved in the theft of emails, usernames and passwords from the University of Virginia and data broker Spokeo in April, according to a complaint filed in federal court in Chicago in early June and Twitter messages posted by the NullCrew account. The charges were unsealed last week. Mr. French is charged with conspiring to hack into a protected computer and cause damage. […]


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[ISN] Cyber security an economic opportunity, says UK government

http://www.computerweekly.com/news/2240222633/Cyber-security-an-economic-opportunity-says-UK-government By Warwick Ashford ComputerWeekly.com 16 June 2014 “Cyber security should not be seen as a necessary evil,” says Francis Maude, minister for the Cabinet Office. “It is a growth business in its own right and can be a strength for the UK,” he told the opening session of IA14, the government’s annual cyber security and information assurance event in London. This year’s event is focused on public-private partnerships around cyber security and is expected to include an announcement of a GCHQ pilot on sharing declassified information on cyber threats, and GCHQ plans to share declassified intellectual property to support new business ventures. Considering the UK is one of the fastest growing economies in the developed world, Maude said the UK not only needs to increase efforts to make the it one of the safest places in the world to do business, but also seize the opportunity that cyber presents for innovation, jobs and prosperity. […]


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[ISN] How did the RCMP crack BlackBerry’s security?

Forwarded from: security curmudgeon On Fri, 13 Jun 2014, InfoSec News wrote: : http://ottawacitizen.com/technology/internet/how-did-the-rcmp-crack-blackberrys-security : : By Vito Pilieci : ottawacitizen.com : June 12, 2014 : : BlackBerry Ltd. has long held that its BlackBerry devices are among the most : secure in the world, but it turns out the platform isn?t as bulletproof as : many had been led to believe. [..] : PIN-to-PIN messages are encrypted with what is known as Triple Data Encryption : Standard (DES) encryption technology, which is among the best in the world. This sentence can be summed up in a simple Tumblr post. http://tumblr.attrition.org/post/88677268432/amazing-the-difference-you-see-between-two-tabs


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[ISN] AT&T: ’twas conniving contractors who nicked your info

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/06/14/att_twas_conniving_contractors_that_nicked_your_info/ By Shaun Nichols The Register 14 Jun 2014 AT&T is warning customers that their personal information might have been breached as part of a scheme to unlock and resell devices. The company said in a filing to the California Attorney General’s office that employees at an unnamed service provider it works with had accessed the personal data of customers including social security numbers and date of birth. According to a letter the company has sent to customers, the breach occurred earlier this year between April 9 and 21 as three workers pulled the customer data in order to request unlock codes from AT&T which could then be used to remove the device from AT&T’s network and allow the device to be resold. The information was apparently part of a scheme by the group to unlock and resell devices on the AT&T network. The company typically allows users to unlock their devices from its network by entering a code which can be obtained from the company by supplying account information including portions of the customer’s social security number. […]


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[ISN] World Cup 2014: Experts warn of security threats

http://www.zdnet.com/world-cup-2014-experts-warn-of-security-threats-7000030594/ By Angelica Mari Brazil Tech June 16, 2014 Brazilians and foreign visitors in the country for the World Cup are being warned of a potential rise in security attacks. The lack of specific legislation and regulations for information security in Brazil coupled with its general vulnerability online — the country ranks eighth in the global league of cyberattacks, according to Symantec — could mean a higher risk to individuals during the soccer tournament, according to consulting Alvarez & Marsal. “Be prepared for online attacks, because chances are that you will be targeted,” says information security expert at Alvarez & Marsal, William Beer. One of the security threats locals and visitors should be aware of during the World Cup include Fake Wi-Fi Hotspots. Before using a Wi-Fi network, Beer suggests that it is wiser to use a more secure network, in locations such as hotels. “It is even more important not to enter passwords for services or make purchases online when connected to an unknown Wi-Fi, since your data may be recorded by criminals,” the security expert says. […]


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